Consciousness, Cosmology and Creativity

Straying from the topic at hand tends to be a habit of mine.

Sometimes it takes the form of a departure away from concepts I hold dear, those that are the foundation of passions, life choices, and beingness.  In recent years I’ve noticed my focus shift from the internal development of an awareness of self, the nurturing of that intuitive dialogue with my inner voice, paying attention instead to the priority of busy-ness through business. Running two businesses and being part of a non-profit can create a sense of being spread a bit thin.

It is a choice, for sure, and one (well, three) that I would not trade for anything. But it does take quite a lot of time and effort and life energy to support. Even when there are ups and downs, times of great growth and times of being “busy” with small jobs that don’t quite exceed the expenses of doing business and supporting a family, despite taking the same amount of time as jobs that do.  “Running a business” is a funny term, when you think about it…why are we running? Can we alter the pace and still be successful in a traditional sense? Can we pause, take a deep breath before the next hill, or sit and dwell on the shifting light in the leaves or the constant morphing of the clouds?

#layout #clouds

A photo posted by Joe Menth (@findingbalance) on Mar 24, 2015 at 12:12am PDT

Do those pauses compromise the integrity of the run? A good friend mentioned to me recently, in part of a series of ongoing deep-dives into the nature of my potential, that he has never known me in a time when I did not speak and act from a place of “struggle”.  I was taken aback. He was calling me on my shit in a big way. And it was out of love and compassion. So I could not ignore it.  This friend, Jeff,  is an intuitive who has honed an extraordinary ability to sense the resonant quality if any concept or potential in the energetic signature of a person, business entity, desire, or blockage. We were working on identifying what was blocking the flow of abundance and prosperity. Deeply held beliefs I was blissfully unaware of, stuck energies that only perpetuated a cyclical approach. And I was struck by this statement that put me, my identity, in the same position as people I tend to hold some judgement of, those that are always living from fear and lack and scarcity and…struggle.  And here I was being told I was perceived as the same.

A shift was inevitable. And it began to take.

My digression away from life’s passions and the internal focus, the constant evolution of self-awareness, results in trapping myself in a mode of survival, but not fully living. The shift is still happening.

It can take time to adjust one’s priorities. We have a lot of work to do to grow our businesses. We are on the cusp of what I believe is great growth. Part of that impetus is through having gained new capabilities. Those capabilities have given us a new sense of purpose. But at the heart of it, the new endeavors of the business have refocused our priorities to that of creativity. Even more-so, it is the co-creativity between Rhiannon and I, where we are designing new concepts together, that has ignited the old passions.

It may not be the same as habitual meditation. It may not be the same as body movement, when I was so entranced for a time by qi gong, tai chi, and the like. And I do feel getting back to those practices will greatly benefit my well-being once more. Integrating them into life with a family is much different than flying solo. There are new schedules to adapt to, school events and theater, bedtime rituals and early-morning alarms. Amongst it all are the joys of being in a home with children who are bubbling with creativity and awe of the world around them, making up stories, being fascinated by bugs and fairies and superheroes and rocks. There is a lesson here, hidden in the adaptation, about patience. Not playing the part of “The General”, as Rhiannon calls it. Learning to be flexible with “the rules”, to truly live the sentiment emblazoned on my arm in ancient Tibetan script: Om Mani Padme Hum, the mantra of Compassion.

To meditate on the concept of Compassion, and to live it, are not one in the same. I am learning. I am learning that to walk the walk of Compassion requires a wider perception of reality, a greater awareness of not only self, but of the way the minds of children interpret every action, every motion, every intention, every expectation.

om mani padme hum tattoo

In the small private moments, the secret times when the house is quiet and the kids are tucked in and my fiance and I kiss and say goodnight and our heads hit the pillows, I sneak a small practice into my day. A brief meditation. Another great friend, Sandra, pulled in a “seed practice” – a modern siddhi of sorts. A simple mantra of  “activating” some concept – issuing an Intention upon the fabric of your reality, a way to imbue your inner self with the support of the whole Cosmos. To pay homage to the knowing that as within, so without, as above, so below – pay honor to yourself for Being the Universe.
Source: Hubblesite.org

I say these phrases silently in my mind, sometimes making it through all levels of the first set, other time falling asleep a third of the way through, but with a great sense of peace. Other times still I make it through all of them, my mind still buzzing with busyness, worry over my businesses. And yet in those times, at some point, a little voice snaps my focus onto that ancient mantra of compassion and I drift to sleep.

Some day soon I feel I will direct my focus again to a deeper practice, a simple “sit” of twenty minutes or so, either silent or with sound, carved out of my day. Perhaps it will be just before or after those morning walks or runs I keep meaning to take. Perhaps it will take more time to allow myself to do it. It would mean less sleep, but greater wellbeing.

Maybe it’s not so much of a digression from the topic. Maybe the topic of “what’s important in life” is just a broader interpretation, a wider perspective on the nature of beingness.

Now the simple short practices are enough. Writing here will help articulate what is important to me.

But at the moment, I’ve got to get back to work being busy for my business.

Tags: beingness, business, choice, compassion, family, mantras, meditation, patience, practice, self-awareness